The One with A Note to Self

I often find myself thinking about the future. I say to myself, "I can't wait for this!" or "I can't wait for that!" or "I look forward to this." or "I look forward to that" or "I'm excited for this" or "I'm excited about that".

For example:
I can't wait 'til Fox can hold his head up and sit up on his own.

I can't wait until Fox's first birthday when I can finally make all the Halloween party decor and creation ideas I've been gathering for the last four years. My subconscious must have known that I'd have an October baby to start planning so far in advance :)

I look forward to the day we can finally live in our own house instead of rentals.

I can't wait to have our own backyard.

I'm excited to see where we're gonna go from 2013-2017 for the Army.

I'm excited for CHA on Saturday.

I can't wait to see my family in April!

I'm excited for Fox to have brothers and sisters some day. (Key words: some day!)

I'm excited for the day when Fox can ride the "big kid" rides at Disneyland so we can all ride together.

I'm excited for future vacations and Christmases and all those times that bring families closer together.

And then I think to myself, "Self. You need to stop looking to the future so much and be content in the present. You've got it good right now. Sure this past week was a son-of-a-gun as far as mommyhood goes, but it's just a phase, it will pass. Fox will overcome this sickness and return to sleeping in 7 hour stretches rather than 2 hour naps. You will also get over your perma-cold and get back on track with losing weight. You need to be happy with what you're doing now because in the blink of an eye Fox will be a one year old, he'll be walking, talking, causing mischief, he'll be tall enough to go on rides at Disneyland, then he'll start kindergarten, grade school, junior high, high school, college, go on his mission, get married, and become a father! SLOW DOWN SELF! Things will happen, time will pass, and all you'll have is memories and pictures. Enjoy these moments. They are precious. You'll wish Fox was 3 months old again, always wanting to be held and snuggled by you instead of talking on the phone to his girlfriend as he's running out the door every Saturday to be with her instead of you. You'll wish you could revisit the days of your first crummy apartments that held more love than you thought was possible inside those decrepit walls. You'll wish for this and you'll wish for that all in the past. So be content with where you are. Enjoy these good ol' days. Enjoy the sunshine that's ever present in SoCal. Enjoy these times in Fox's infancy, no matter how hard they may be. Remember: happiness and contentness is a choice. Choose to wake up on the right side of the bed! Choose to start every day with a bang! Choose to be cheery instead of grumpy. Be the best mommy and wife you can be!"

Thanks self. I needed that. I will learn to appreciate these moments because before I know it, Fox won't be able to straddle his Daddy while he's sleeping anymore.

My cute boys.