Blogging is a therapeutic outlet for me. So here goes.
I'm hurt.
Out of the loop.
So embarrassed.
I hate that I care what people think of me.
Wishing I could go into details, but again, I care too much about what people think.
Dangit.
Is it me?
Did I do something wrong?
Am I too pessimistic?
Blast being so shy.
I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo shy.
I think it comes off as being snobby, when really I'm just petrified of what people think. It's a horrible conundrum.
I would rather sit and listen to a conversation for hours on end than have to be apart of it.
I hate being the center of attention and avoid it at all costs.
Wish I was more outgoing.
I was such a loud child. Always got "talks to much" on my report cards.
Then we moved and I became a recluse. (Not blaming you malm and dald - I LOVE Washington :)
Re-evaluating things.
Trying not to care.
Will work on being more open and outgoing and friendly.
Moving on.
Power to the people, Paige. I totally feel you, and I feel FOR you.
ReplyDeleteOh, Paige--I'm sorry you are upset and feeling this way. Please know that you are SUPER AMAZING! You are loved (by your family, husband, Fox, friends, blog followers, and MORE!!!)!! There is only one opinion that matters--God's {I think I read on your blog something about your religion/beliefs}. So just take a deep breath--keep smiling--and continue being YOU!! You rock:) <3
ReplyDeleteBlogging should be therapeutic!! I think it's tough if you are shy. I'm actually super talkative, but not until I really know you. Otherwise I just sit there all quiet! Unfortunately I think you are right about shy people often being misjudged. :( You know that you are not a snob...and people that don't take the time to get to know you for who you are aren't worth your time and energy anyway!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way sometimes about myself. I just told M tonight that I am so glad that I joined FB because I think it has allowed people that I have known for years at church, etc... to actually get to know me better. I am very shy around women... I don't know why. I guess it is my own insecurities, etc. Anyway... FB has really helped people see me for who I really... I think people saw me as unapproachable or a snob and that is SOOOO not me. I think people who have read your blog long enough or had any interaction with you can see that you are not a snob!! Not at all! I have always loved you... seriously! I think you are a great person! And I think I am pretty good at reading people and getting a sense of who they are! :) I am very observant about the heart matters!! :)
ReplyDeleteSorry friend! I've had wierd random comments that upset me and not cuz it hurt my feelings per say but upset That people thought that way of me and that somehow I did something to make them think that! I too am super shy! I totally could have written this post, it's me! And everyone thought I was a "B" cuz of it, but I was just too shy to be involved. For the most part I could care less what people think of me(I would be lying if I said I don't care at all cuz everyone is insecure to some degree and everyone wants to fit in and be accepted), but hate that people get the wrong idea or somehow I hurt someone. You are beautiful, talented and a super cute mamma! Continue to be you! I too love blogging cuz I can be social without being social. Besides most of the negative commenting peeps are just jealous! So whatever this issue is blow it off be just continue doing your thing! No one is forcing anyone to read your blog. If they don't like they can go elsewhere! :) hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteI think some people just like drama...I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong. I'm actually a fairly serious, down-to-earth person and I'm sure that comes off snobby..But pleasing other people all the time can be exhausting. I hope you feel better :)
ReplyDeleteSorry to read this Paige - I came to a hard realization a few years ago that not everyone was going to like me, no matter how hard I tried, and that it was ok. I focused on the fact that I had bigger fish to fry (my family, my work, etc.) You are amazingly talented and kind and you've got that adorable little guy. I have a feeling there might be some jealously behind whatever happened. It's hard but focus on the good stuff and carry on :) (and please don't stop blogging!)
ReplyDeleteI could have written this post myself during some hard times when people just make you feel awful about everything. It's good to get it out & a blog is a great place!
ReplyDeleteAwww.. I know I'm just a blog stalker Paige, but take it from this blog stalker that I love following your blog and from what I read, you're an awesome lady, friend, wife, mom, craft-a-holic, and blogger! Don't be down.. .it's okay, get it all out and know you're not alone. If it makes you feel better, whenever people meet me at work, they later tell me "I thought you were a witch when I first met you" (only their witch starts with a B) I guess... it takes time for some of us... and *sigh, oh well, can't please 'em all!
ReplyDeleteAh Paige, I totally feel ya. I used to be way more outgoing also, and now just sort of take things in. It's hard for me as well because I also care way too much about what other people think of me. You seem pretty awesome and fun and positive from your blog though! Would never guess that you are shy IRL. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think you are amazing.
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I have the same problem :/ As we grow up more and more hopefully the shyness will dissipate and we can begin acting more like our true selves out in public. I notice in myself that that happens a little bit every day :) There is hope!!
ReplyDeleteTherapeutic to you (and defintely your readers!)! I grew up in Kansas and my family is still there. I am open and outgoing when I am there...but misplaced and ackward when I am in Michigan (where I have been for 13 years now). One would think one would get use to being somewhere...but it just isn't "home". I am so out of my "comfy" zone here! :) I have always blamed it on the small city girl being in a big-big city with WAY to many people.
ReplyDeleteNice to know we aren't alone. I don't even know you and know that you are indeed amazing! Your art shows us all that!
I think you can tell just how much support you have from the blogging community with all these lovely comments! There are already not enough hours in a day, why waste a minute of your time trying to impress somebody else with pretending to be something you're not.
ReplyDelete...we HAVE to be made from the same mold, Paige. I could have just said this exact same thing myself. I'm so sorry you're hurt. I think you're pretty fabulous.
ReplyDeleteInsomuch as I know you...I think you're pretty great. That is all.
ReplyDeleteMan, I am SO that way too!! Big hugs Paige!!! Sorry you're feeling sucky :-( I think you're a superstar!
ReplyDeleteSorry for whatever happened, girlie! I have no idea what is going on, but wanted to send some hugs your way! :)
ReplyDeleteI've had the same problem all my life. For some reason, to some people, shy = snobby. But you are a wonderful, warm person.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I am so bummed I missed you at CHA!! I thought surely I would see you walking the floor at some point, but we must've just missed each other. Hope you had fun!
You cannot please everyone and don't start trying to. Be yourself and be true to yourself!Personally I think you are great, I only know you "blog wise" but you seem o have a woderful and fun personality!
ReplyDeleteI know I've never met you, but you always come across as super sweet in your blog! I hope blogging about it helped. I also find scrapbooking very therapeutic, maybe you do too? I've gotten shyer and more introverted over the years, and people think I'm snobby for it, too. I feel for you. Hope you feel better about it soon.
ReplyDeleteI think we all feel this sometimes:( I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteSorry you are feeling this way. I've never met you in person but I think you are a sweet person. *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteI know you, and I think you are great! I know what you mean about being shy, sometimes I feel shy too and I worry about people thinking I'm "too good to talk them", because that's not true at all. We can talk to each other. :o)
ReplyDeleteI am the same way Paige. I wish I did not care so much what people think of me. but I do and I worry if I said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing, sometimes take things wrong and get my feelings hurt. I need to not be so sensitive. That's what my mother and husband always tell me.
ReplyDeleteI hope whatever happened works out for you and I like how you are re-evaluating things. I need to to do that too.
Take Care!
Don't worry. You are an amazingly talented person. Not to mention beautiful and funny. Keep your chin up, you have many admirers, me among them. :)
ReplyDeleteBTW, my "word verification" to post this comment is "humpla". If that doesn't make you laugh, i don't know what will!
Oh, Paige! I'm so sorry! Until people get to know me better, I think they think the same of me. HATE it, but what to do?! Just be yourself and trust that God made you exactly the way He wanted you.
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