The One with Jane's Birth Story

If you can't handle "blood, gush, and tears" then I suggest you skip this post altogether or just skim over the pictures. Or, if you're like me and could read exciting birth stories all day long for some weird reason, by all means, continue on!

Saturday started off as any other normal Saturday would, because I'd finally begrudgingly accepted the fact that I wasn't going into labor on my own and I'd have to be induced Sunday morning. That was the plan and I had full intentions of sticking to it. We cleaned the animal cages, vacuumed, folded laundry, emptied the dishwasher, ate breakfast, and then I had my mom take some photos of us on our last day as a family of three/snap maternity pics. I can't wait to share the images that my sister edited - here's a sneak peek:

After our impromptu photoshoot I wanted to take Chris shopping at the GAP to get some birthday clothes - he turns 27 on Friday! Yes, I'm a cougar, marrying a younger man :) We got him some shirts, I got a dress and top, and we perused through J Crew and a few other stores - enjoying our final moments of time alone while Grandma stayed home with Fox. Then we went to Target and got some new bedsheets cuz ours are old and dingy. And we needed doggie poop bags - FYI. Somehow we ended up with organic bedsheets and decompostable poop bags - like we're "green" and "earthy" or something!

When we got home after running errands we were starving so my mom made us delicious "Marlboro Man Sandwiches." So good. I'll always remember Fox chucking a french fry across the dining room, us laughing super hard, so of course he did it again and again... Silly boy likes to make us laugh.

At 1pm we put Fox down for a nap. I was about to take my daily nap too but of course I had to use the restroom first. As I was peeing I felt/heard the strangest "pop!" and a gush of liquid came out. I think? I was peeing so I couldn't really tell! The water was cloudy but Chris says my urine is always cloudy cuz I don't drink enough water. I remember when they broke my water with Fox contractions started happening shortly thereafter so I decided I wanted to wait and see if this was the real deal. I called the hospital and asked if I should come in and they said yes, but I was super hesitant after being sent home Wednesday night. Just a few minutes later, I had a contraction. A painful one. And then another one a few minutes later. We scrambled around packing up our things, I posted on this here blog at 1:34pm saying that we were off to the hospital, and away we were. Ready or not, here comes Baby Jane!

40 weeks and 1 day.

The hospital is 14 miles away, but remember, we live in Los Angeles - the city with the worst traffic in the country. Awesome.

Yes, there was traffic.

I was feeling pretty good for about 10 minutes, then my contractions REALLY started hurting. I called the hospital and begged for an anesthesiologist to be waiting for me at the door. They didn't really encourage me - just said there are doctors and nurses there 24/7 - no duh. Chris dropped me off at Emergency. As soon as I got out of the car and had to move around I was in constant pain. I was crying. I was miserable and scared. I was wheeled up to L&D and admitted. On Wednesday night the admission process took like two hours - question after question, test after test, a super long ultrasound. There was no time for that. I needed drugs. To quote Keri Russell in one of my favorite movies, Waitress, "I want the maximum legal amount of drugs." The only thing I actually filled out on my labor plan was: "The following statement best describes how I feel about pain medication: I want the pain medicine/epidural to be given as soon as I am in labor as is safe and allowed."  I don't like pain, I have a very low pain tolerance. Give me an epidural - done and done.

Then the nurse checked my cervix. She said the dreaded words I've had nightmares about this entire pregnancy, "You're at a 10, we can't give you anything at this point, it'll just make you and the baby too tired."

I. FREAKED. OUT. 

I started screaming, "NO! YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME SOMETHING! CHRIS, I CAN'T DO THIS! YOU KNOW ME! I DON'T DO PAIN! I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T! YOU GOTTA GIVE ME SOMETHING! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"

Nobody was listening to me. Hardly anyone was talking. I was wheeled into the delivery room and somehow hoisted myself onto the bed. At this point it was about 2:10pm. 

The next 18 minutes or so were a blur. I was in hysterics. My body took over and started pushing uncontrollably. I kept screaming "IT'S MAKING ME PUSH! IT'S MAKING ME PUSH!" Nevermind who or what the "it" is? The doctors and nurses were in position and they asked me to follow their instructions for pushing. They asked if I wanted to feel Baby Jane's head crowning - which I did - and it gave me the motivation to keep going. The next urge to push came, I listened to the doctor's instructions about when to breathe and when to push, and the next moment, Baby Jane was born at 2:28pm. Not even an hour after I blogged that we were going to the hospital. It all happened soooo fast. 

They put Jane on my chest, but I was shaking so severely and covered by my gown, that they took her away soon thereafter and washed her up while I was stitched back together for over TWO HOURS. They were all up in my business.

 Luckily they were able to pump me full of morphine through an IV and a shot before poking me with needles. It made me dizzy and tired but it was nice. They also gave me lidocain shots down there while they were stitching me up so it wasn't too bad. When they finished putting me back together they gave me back my baby and all was right with the world.

Jane getting weighed.

Jane getting her fuzzy hair washed.

Jane's first diaper of thousands and first little t-shirt.

Chris holding his baby girl for the first time. Proud Daddy.

I was wheeled up to Post-Partum and bombarded by nurses, doctors, and the money man.

Finally things slowed down and we were able to enjoy our time together and start letting the world know about our whirlwind experience via Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/Texts/Blogging.

After dinner Grandma Carolyn and Big Brother Fox arrived! Seeing Fox meet his little sister for the first time was such a spiritual experience.

He's going to be a great big brother, I can already tell.

Grandma oogled and googled over her first granddaughter, natch.

SO. I am now part of the "au natural" club, albeit involuntarily. And here I was thinking my body doesn't know how to go into labor on its own cuz essentially I was induced with Fox and planned on getting induced with Jane. I must say, and I don't know whether it's just because this is my second baby so I know what to expect as far as recovery goes, but I feel much better physically this time around. I can stand and walk and change my (yes, MY) own diapers. I'm definitely not thinking about having another baby anytime soon, but I will have to seriously consider which route I want to go giving birth next time. Because as scary and crazy as going natural was, it was all over so fast, I've already almost forgotten how bad it was. 

And now I have a sweet daughter to smother with loves and hugs and kisses!